Musings // On Friendship...

August 08, 2018

Somebody messaged me on Instagram last week after I‘d shared a post about spending a day with a friend and they asked if I’d think about writing a blog on friendship. She asked ‘what roles people ‘fall’ within a friendship, giver/organiser/comic/listener/taker’ and said that she knows too many takers and could do with more caring friendships’. And so it got me thinking about all things friendship. I thought I’d share some thoughts {rambling list style} in the latest of this more personal blog series...
  • Friendship and a good catch up fills me up like nothing else. Sharing everything and anything. Laughing, consoling, de stressing, putting the worlds to right. 
  • Going away to Australia for 3 weeks at the start of the year and just having my husband for company really made me reevaluate who I wanted in my life when I got home. It felt like a bit of a reset. Since then I’ve stepped back from a couple of people that I’ve felt aren’t really my tribe or stress me out with their drama. And that’s ok. 
  • I would do anything for my closest friends. People go through peaks and troughs, so of course sometimes you’ll need to listen more to somebody if they’re going through a bad time. That’s a pivotal part of being a friend and I know that ranting to a friend makes me feel SO much better if there's something on my mind. BUT if you feel like their drama is sucking you down too much and you’re not that close to them, it’s ok to focus on you and step back. 
  • I want, and like, to build my friends up, tell them how amazing they are, encourage them to go after their dreams and be that person who says 'why not - why don't you book that trip/start writing more etc etc. Women supporting women {and men!} is a wonderful thing. 
  • I thought I’d still be friends with more people that I met at uni but they fizzled out. I guess it’s because I wasn’t in halls, I was already with my husband then. And that corporate LSE law world wasn’t for me. I like social media for keeping in touch but I haven’t met up with anyone from uni for years now. 
  • Two of my closest friendship groups I’ve known since primary school {!} but they’ve got different girls in each. 
  • One has 8 of us in, we all still live within a 15 minute drive of each other and have all come back to our home village after all going off around the country for uni which I think is quite incredible. Our memories go back over the years and we’re wondering who will be the next to get married {I was the first}. 
  • It's hard getting our big group together all the time with everyone's different commitments but we all share a group whatsapp to arrange dates and whoever is around will come, I love how the dynamic and conversation changes depending who comes - it's different every time. They're the most intelligent girls I know and I'm so proud of them all.
  • The other has 4 of us in and they’re probably 3 of the most supportive girls I know who just raise each other up. One was my bridesmaid, one I’ve known since we were babies and one we were bestest friends, had a break for a few years and are now so glad we’re back together. I can see them individually or as a group and I love them so much. 
  • It’s lovely having that background where you know each other’s families and have all grown up together.
  • I guess out of those roles above I’d be known as the organiser most of the time .
  • Then there are newer friends I’ve met over the past few years through things like Pilates or my gym group who I'm not that close to, but they're so lovely to see each week.
  • All friendships are different. I guess it depends on the people and how you’re linked. But there’s something to value in each of them. My friend A makes me laugh like nobody else.
  • Have friendships where you’re 100% you. And you can tell them everything. In my slightly strange Instagram world I feel like that’s especially important. I'm not into fake friends, I value all of these completely real, properly humble friendships without any mean girls style traits.
  • Laughter is the best medicine. Spend time with people who make you feel good.
  • I truly value the groups of girls that I call friends but I’m not somebody who needs to spend time with friends all the time. I’m happy to be my own company. In fact I’m so fiercely independent and would rather do things like shop on my own most of the time. 
  • My husband is my bestest friend of all. There’s nobody else I’d rather spend time with ❤️. 
  • Controversial possibly but I'm not looking for any new friends. I’m so happy with the gorgeous friends that I have and it’s hard enough trying to find time to catch up with everyone regularly. I feel like I have everyone I need right now? I'm guessing when we have children that that might change and I'll want to meet more 'mum friends' but right now I feel so happy with my tribes. 
  • In saying that though one of my close friends now has only happened within the last couple of years through F reading my blog and realising how similar we both are. We live in the same village and I’ll always be grateful she said hi that day because we’ve now become so close and she's now one of my favourite people to hang out with. You know when somebody just gets you and you share such similar likes?
  • Instagram is amazing for connecting like minded people and forming the base of new friendships in some cases. 
  • Probably one of my worst traits is that I’m not one for fake friends and I can never pretend that I like somebody. I value my own time so much {is that selfish?!} that I don’t really want to spend time with somebody that I’m not keen on. 
  • Have friends who you can go without seeing for weeks/even months sometimes but know that nothing will have changed. Life is busy but true friendships last throughout. 
  • My Mum is one of my best friends and I feel so lucky to have such a close relationship with her. It’s no secret that I’m über close to my family and I love hanging out/going away with them. Likewise my Dad and Brother are the best company and that sibling bond is the best.
  • Going for walks is probably one of the simplest yet easiest ways to catch up with friends. You walk and you talk and you could keep walking for hours.
  • It's nice to make a day out of friends who live further away. We don't see Ben's friends that often as they're so busy working during the week but we alternate weekends every so often and spend a good chunk of the day together catching up either around our area or theirs.
  • I love those coffee/dinner dates where you just have so much to catch up on that you can barely scratch the surface.
  • I’m not one for late drunk nights out but you probably guessed that by now?! My friends all know that too.
  • WhatsApp is the best for keeping in touch in between and social media to keep up to date but nothing beats seeing people for real. 
  • Use the Doodle app for trying to find a date that suits everyone best. It's game changing for organising!
  • And finally, always put a new date in the diary for the next time before life gets in the way. 
I'd love to hear some of your thoughts. Either on here or on the 'gram.

R <3 xx 

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