I want to start this post by talking about the fact that it really doesn’t matter to me - or anyone - how you feed your baby, as long as you make the choice that you feel is right for you. I’m so aware of the fact that breastfeeding doesn’t work for many for so many different reasons and you have to do what’s right both mentally and physically. Fed is best, there are no awards, there's no competition with anything to do with motherhood, it's all really hard and you just have to do what works best. I really hate the fear of talking about feeding and I’m not sure why there are two distinct camps when mothers should support each other. A happy Mama = a happy baby, I read this lovely quote on instagram recently that said 'bottle or breast, whatever works best'! But I guess this is the point where I should mark this post with a trigger warning in case it has the potential to upset anybody, because that is not my intention at all and would feel mortified to ever make anybody feel like that from talking about my own experience. I wanted to write this post as I've really enjoyed reading other mama's stories about their feeding journey and to look back upon and share with Freya someday. There's also a list of recommendations at the end for things that helped us. It's ended up taking me months to write, coming back a little at a time and one draft didn't get saved which made me so upset! So finally, I sit here with it ready to publish.

Now that the baby could arrive at any time, I thought it would be fun to list a few things that I'll really miss about pregnancy after the past nine months, along with some things I'm looking forward to again once it's over. Pregnancy for me has been such an incredible, special time that I've felt so lucky to really enjoy and really hope that I'll experience again in the future. Would love to hear what you'd add to these lists...

I guess I'm a bit late in writing this, most people are done talking about resolutions and goals by now. We're nine days into January already... But I kind of feel like I can't think straight over that buzzy Christmas and New Year period. It's all a bit blurry and all you've eaten is cheese and chocolate for a few weeks and you don't know what day it is. I don't want to think ahead to January whilst I'm in that bubble. It takes me a while to actually get back to normality and routine to realise what will be important for me in this new chapter. I'm not talking about all these cliched January diets or 'new year, new me' but I do want to achieve a few specific things this year, so I thought I'd share them in this blog post;

Happy, Happy New Year! I'm starting back on the pregnancy posts and wanted to keep it in order so firstly here are the things we did differently on that positive month in which we fell pregnant, if that's something which interests you... {I know that in the end we weren’t trying for all that long but I know that this was the kind of blog post I was seeking out when going through that time and also I’m one of those people who has to read/research everythingggg if I set my mind to something so I hope it might help?}

Hello! Happy, Happy New Year to you. Tomorrow marks the last day of 2018 eeeek and how fast has that gone? Will you be celebrating tomorrow night? I've never been that much of a fan of New Year's Eve and instead of partying, we'll celebrate in London with an early dinner with my parents and then probably finish a Netflix marathon {currently watching the new series called You} I'm not even sure I'll stay up until Midnight! Maybe we’ll do some sparklers instead of staying up to watch the fireworks... But as always at this time of year, I've put together this post with highlights from this past year to look back upon and some thoughts on heading into 2019. What. A Year. 

♥

In amongst the Christmas blog posts, I know lots of you are keen to hear more about our exciting news. Before I start going into all of the first trimester details/things we did differently the month we conceived/all the excitement of finding out, I wanted to go back to the beginning. I wrote this back in Spring 2018...

Have you ever wondered why I’ve never been one for sharing a photo of a glass of wine on Instagram? Or a perfect, barista crafted, coffee like 99% of the rest of instagram and this millennial generation? It’s because I drink neither alcohol nor caffeine! I'm completely tee-total. I’m not sure if this is even worthy of writing a blog post on? But people seem to look at us {my husband is the same} and wonder why, in our society where it’s become such a big thing and really a whole lifestyle, that we don’t. {Or maybe they just wonder if we’re secret Mormons or something, haha joking! Some of our v good friends are Mormons}.

Are you into podcasts?

For a long time, other than catching up with Desert Island Discs, I wasn’t. But then, maybe four years back we got into Serial and my husband & I used to listen each week as a new episode dropped, often in the bath as it was the only place we could really concentrate on it. It was questioned if podcasts would take off as a new type of media or become a fad. But I think they've proved more popular than ever expected.

Would you ever live abroad? 

Somebody messaged me on Instagram last week after I‘d shared a post about spending a day with a friend and they asked if I’d think about writing a blog on friendship. She asked ‘what roles people ‘fall’ within a friendship, giver/organiser/comic/listener/taker’ and said that she knows too many takers and could do with more caring friendships’. And so it got me thinking about all things friendship. I thought I’d share some thoughts {rambling list style} in the latest of this more personal blog series...

Four whole years already?! You probably know by now how I got a bit OTT for Birthdays/Valentine's Day/Christmas/Halloween etc, so wedding anniversaries are no exception. I mean, why not?! Last week we celebrated our Fourth anniversary since we tied the knot {see this post for the story of how we met, and this for the proposal, this for our wedding day}. It also coincided with the heatwave so the summery days felt even more special. As I always say, the sun always shines on the 3rd July!

This is another of those personal posts, a short essay, that I only really write a few times a year because I guess that I'm scared of what people could think when I press publish. Which is ironic given today’s subject. I know of course that it's ok to talk about mental health and there should be no shame in discussing it at all. But there's always that thought in the back of your mind that some people will view you as weak for sharing your deepest thoughts? A few of you on Instagram encouraged me to share and start a discussion, so let's discuss your greatest fears? I don't think you'd be human to not fear anything, it's inherent, an inbuilt response to keep us safe. And what about anxiety? At what point does fear turn into a serious crippling anxiety? Fear can cause anxiety and anxiety can cause fear. I’ll share with you my anxieties if you’ll tell me yours...

Hello! Happy New Year! This time of year always has the potential to leave me feeling a little anxious. I've never been a fan of New Year's Eve and all the hype and pressure to start the year in style. In fact I think for me that New Year's Eve is tinged a little with sadness that Christmas, and another year is over already. There's so much publicised about the resolutions we should all be making, the health kicks we should be going on and social media is a flurry with goal setting. January is my least favourite month with the gloom of winter and no more Christmas fairy lights to soften the darkness. So I've decided this year that instead of trying to better myself, or ramp up any pressure for any goals that we all feel we should be setting, I will instead be kinder to myself and stress less {about a wide range of topics}! Here's hoping!

All of that being said, it's a perfect time as we transition into a fresh new year to look back upon 2017 and take stock of what a year it has been. Two thousand and seventeen for us was a year to remember forever. I think these golden years before we think about starting a family will always be special, we've been married for 3 and a half years now and I love all of our adventures. As a couple it was mainly about finishing our building work {I'm still pinching myself over our new kitchen after the many months of building chaos!!} along with lots of unforgettable travels around the globe. On a personal level, my career has gone to extremes that I never even dreamed of and whilst there were some lows among the highest highs, as ever, this time of year makes me feel so so grateful and thankful for so much, especially those around me. I love looking back upon these posts, this blog has and will always be a diary for me to reflect upon so thank you for indulging me on this look back on some of the highlights and as ever for reading. I know that some of you have been following along from the very first post, so thank you!