On being married.. ♥

July 01, 2015

If you're a regular to this blog then you'll know that it's more a picture diary than a written one. I prefer taking photos to putting pen to paper. But I've been thinking recently about our first year of marriage and wanted to note a few things down for once before we head off on our little anniversary getaway. 
A whole year of being husband and wife. A lot of people have asked if it's changed anything and in most ways it hasn't at all. We'd been together for over six years before tying the knot last summer and had lived together for about four of those so there wasn't a big chance on that front. In the past it was different where you only moved in together once you were legally married. I think as a couple, before getting married there are house rules to be made. Roles to be filled. Ben and I very rarely argue about anything house related now because we both know our rules after living together for a while. And as such we knew that we'd be a good match for staying together long term. Sure, I still get annoyed when he doesn't take his shoes off at the door after I've spent the morning cleaning but what's the point of getting annoyed with each other over shoes? Life, and relationships are worth so much more than that. We both have our roles, both have our positives and negatives and you have to weigh these up to get a balance. Ben doesn't have to think about any kind of cleaning, or cutting the grass, making sure the bins go out on time, making sure there is food in the house {he eats a lot, all of the time}. I also do nearly all of the cooking, take him lunch most days and he never has to think about buying birthday cards or presents or wrapping amongst other things. That's my side of the domestic deal. But equally he does just as much, he doesn't make me go out to work for a start, I'm able to work freelance which I love. I never have to open and deal with boring post like bills or find the best energy deal, sort my taxes or any kind of DIY stuff. That's his part of the deal and our balance and it works. We're team Sterling, we support each other.

One whole year of being Mrs Sterling, I've got to be honest, I really didn't want to change my name and apart from having to get a new passport for a holiday we booked in my new name, I've stuck to Kedgley where I can. Partly because I'm too lazy for all the admin involved in changing it over but also I'm sad to let it go. I'm not a feminist concerned with giving up my identity and of course I wanted to be married, and very much 'be' a Sterling but a secret part of me thinks that Mrs Sterling sounds rather old. Miss-is. Weird. So I'll stick with half my purse as a Kedgley and half with Sterling for now until the conversation comes up again... 

The only other difference with being married, apart from the extra ring on my finger, is the crazy amount of people who are suddenly fascinated with when you're going to start thinking about having a baby. I'm only 22, I may have married young because I knew that I'd married the right person but I'm not ready to 'give up' my life just yet. Ben is 32 so would happily have a baby tomorrow but equally he appreciates that we love our life as it is right now. We're both too selfish, well mostly I'm too selfish, to think about having a child at the moment. We love our Saturday morning lay ins, lazing around reading the papers, sunbathing in the garden, travelling the world, being spontaneous for days out, our house not being cluttered with toys, evenings at the allotment or being out with friends - all of which would suddenly become a lot harder and perhaps few and far between when we do have children. I think that children, compared to marriage would be the biggest change for our relationship. Of course, I'm sure that when we do get to that point we'll feel 'complete' and have a new found meaning of the word love {as well as feeling sleep deprived probably} but for now we've decided to enjoy the next couple of years just being us. 

Other than that, married life is rosy and I really could not be happier. I love the extra commitment that we now have to one another and whilst being married hasn't changed much day to day, overall it's made us even stronger and more in love than ever. We laugh a lot, try and always respect and support one another and still sign every single phone call or text off with I love you. I think this is the happiest I've ever been, this year has been our best yet as we've had no house to do up, I finished my degree last summer so there's been no stress of studying and also no wedding to plan anymore {ha!} so weekends have been our own. The perfect start to married life, to really just enjoy it. And enjoy has been what we've done. 

So, after all this waffle what I really meant to say is thanks for the best first year of marriage Zenny. To have and to hold, let's go and grow old because our love is a wonderful thing. Here's to the next year, and the next and the next and the next, because the best is yet to come.

R <3 xx 

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  1. Great post, Rebecca. I relate to so much of it. I think Mrs does sound old, which is why I tend to ignore that aspect of being married :) I was thrilled to take on my husband's surname however, mainly because I think it's a privilege; by getting hitched, we're starting a whole new family - my branch has joined with his branch on the family tree and we're starting something that no other two people in the whole world can start. I think that's a pretty special thing :) x


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